Hi, I’m Jaime and welcome to “The Sky is Crawling” podcast, a series exploring my real and personal experiences with the strange and unknown. If you’d like to read along and get new podcast episodes delivered directly to your inbox, visit www.theskyiscrawling.com for the transcript.
Episode 4: Let’s Break Open that Head of Yours
I was living in a small apartment in Alphabet City in 2004. I went to bed on a normal night but just before I fell asleep, I felt a strong tingling sensation between my eyes. It soon turned into a feeling of considerable pressure that traveled through my forehead and into the middle of my skull. I sensed a presence in my bedroom walking towards me, but I lost consciousness before I had a chance to look around. Everything went black, but what I remember next was more real than the world I had just left behind.
When I opened my eyes, it wasn’t to a lucid dream. I was fully conscious and I was riding a small craft that looked like an absurd cross between a taxi and a cosmic roller coaster.
I was flying through a glowing white energy tunnel. The vehicle was covered in a protective energy field. I didn’t feel wind resistance or cold and I could see a hint of stars through the film that made up the convex walls. Sitting next to meme on the vehicle was a thin and extraordinarily tall woman, and behind her sat a strange looking, bald man. He wore a skin-tight black jumpsuit that reminded me of a 1960s beatnik turtleneck sweater. I didn’t feel any fear even though they didn’t look quite human, and it felt perfectly normal riding in a cosmic roller coaster taxi through a wormhole in space.
I focused my attention on the man behind me. He was pale and had no hair or eyebrows. He had a human-like quality to his face, but I couldn’t make direct eye contact with him. His jump suit revealed a medium frame, broad shoulders and unusually long arms that he rested on his laps. Throughout the ride, he held his head and eyes straight ahead and remained silent. I looked over to the woman sitting to my right. Her torso towered over me. Her arms were also long, but much thinner. Her pale skin was also covered by a skin-tight black jump suit, but she wore a short haircut that looked like it didn’t belong on her head. I followed the lines of her hair to her face. It rested atop a thin neck that was too long, making it difficult for me to see her features clearly.
The vehicle stopped at a landing bridge after about a minute, and the woman motioned me to exit onto a large flat surface. As I stepped onto the landing, I looked back at the man, but he stayed motionless inside the vehicle like a department store mannequin and was quickly whisked away. The tall woman walked ahead of me and instructed me to follow. She stood about seven feet tall and her jumpsuit covered everything but her hands, face and neck. The floor was silky smooth and white, expanding outward to an endless horizon. I looked up at the enormous domed ceiling and followed it down to the floor. Three oblong oval windows cut through the upper walls, revealing a purple haze of stars behind a black abyss. I didn’t see any lights, but the room was fully and comfortably illuminated with ambient light.
I had the feeling I was inside a giant saucer-shaped spacecraft but that thought didn’t faze me or seem out of place in my reality.
I observed the woman as she walked ahead of me. Her movements were strange and alien. Her long and thin arms ended in quaint hands that extended three drawn-out bony fingers and a pointy opposable thumb. Her elbows reached her hips, swayed by set of narrow set shoulders. Her arms swung awkwardly around her thin waist and spindly legs. Her feet were surprisingly small for such a tall body and were completely covered in material that looked more like socks than shoes. I couldn’t see the outline of her toes.
She stopped gently and turned slowly. When she looked down at me, I got a better look at her face. She wore a black shingle bob haircut that covered her ears. The style of her hair reminded me of silent actresses from the foxtrotting 20s. She had large and bulging almond-shaped eyes that were slightly insect-like, covered by a set of pale eye lids that opened just enough to reveal a thin black slit drawn horizontally across each corner and a black pupil slightly off center. Her nose was small, flat and pointed upright with two diagonal openings where I expected nostrils to be. A thin horizontal opening took the place of her lips and her mouth didn’t move or show any emotion. Her sharply angled jaw ended in a pointy chin, and although she clearly didn’t look human, I wasn’t disturbed or even distracted by her alien appearance.
She gave me no name, but I recognized her. She had a friendly presence and that’s all I needed. She was familiar to me, and I sensed we had known each other for a centuries. I couldn’t remember seeing her before, but I was surprised her appearance wasn’t shocking to me. I felt completely comfortable and natural walking through an endless room guided by a towering pale alien woman who oddly enough, didn’t look alien to me. I wonder if the haircut she wore was put on for my benefit. I sensed that she needed to wear something human enough to help me feel more at ease with her. I’m certain she had no hair under what looked like a cheap wig. She probably more closely resembled the bald man who briefly joined us on our journey to the inside of the saucer, except her eyes were different.
She seemed to wait for me to take in her presence before she spoke into my mind. “Welcome back. It is good to see you like this again. There is much to show you.” Her telepathic words were accompanied by waves of emotion that formed a complete and unspoken language, containing total knowledge that gave me an immediate understanding of her intent. “It is time for your lessons. You have fallen into great despair, but it was necessary. It is time for you to remember the true nature of reality. Your human focus still believes it is a meaningless speck of dust floating through space, randomly existing with no true purpose. It believes it is at the mercy of the tides with no one to save it from drowning. It is time now to replace its old beliefs with something your true self has always known. Are you ready?”
“Yes,” I replied calmly. She reached out and held my hand in hers. Her long fingers dwarfed mine as an adult’s hand would a toddler’s. She led me to a clearing that had a floating red disc hovering vertically above the floor. It held itself upright about one meter off the floor and measured about three meters in diameter. It was fully opaque and non-reflective but emanated a soft light from its center. As we neared the red disc, the alien woman let go of my hand and stood in front of it. The deep and bright red of the disc formed her backdrop. The starkvcontrast made her skin appear an even brighter white, almost glowing out of her black jumpsuit.
She gazed lovingly at me and spoke telepathically again. “It is time for you to remember what you have always known. YOU create reality.”
I knew she had just given me a universal truth I had always known, but I had long been brainwashed by a world I was born into that didn’t know any better, and I couldn’t wrap my head around the words she had just given me. I believed my life was out of my hands and controlled by a God that didn’t care much for what happened to me. Being told that I was THE creator was a concept that was completely at odds with what my humanity believed in for too long. Even though I understood it to be the absolute truth deep within myself, I could only say, ” I don’t understand.”
The alien woman smiled at me from within her mind and motioned for me to kneel facing away from her. She put her hand on my shoulder and helped me into position. As she stood behind me I looked up and saw her motioning her hand over the top of my head. The tips of her finger morphed into elongated, fluid metallic needles that she held close to my crown. Her mind calmly explained to me that she intended to inject her fingers directly into my brain. I immediately understood and allowed it without question. It was known to me that we had previously agreed to this surgery and that I would be allowed to remember this encounter and its teachings. Her fingers pushed into my skull and penetrated my cerebral cortex. Pressure built up in my sinuses, but I wasn’t in any discomfort or pain. Her mind told me, “YOU create reality with your thoughts.” She waved her other hand in front of me and said, “Think! Think of anything! Your childhood memories, your fantasies, anything and everything!”
I closed my eyes and reached into my oldest memories to find moments in my life that held wonderful significance to me. I went back to the first time I put my ear to my father’s chest and listened to his beating heart. I thrust into that moment again, reliving it in vivid detail. I had regressed into my three-year-old self. My father had just bathed me and carried me wrapped in a towel to his bedroom. He stood me on his bed and dried my hair, holding my head close to his chest. When I heard his heart, it felt like the first time again. I imagined a miniature marching band parading inside of him. I saw the sun light beaming through the windows and felt its glowing warmth on my skin. I felt safe and loved. I was fully immersed in that moment once again.
“Open your eyes and look around you!”
The alien woman waved her arm and gestured at a series of fractal waves of thought that emanated from my mind, swirling in a divine holographic dance.
I didn’t fully understand what I was witnessing, but she immediately caught my confusion with her mind. “These are the realities you have willed into existence. Time is not how you experience it. What you define as time is simply the unfolding of thought.” Seeing my reality flow from my mind and appear in vivid detail as geometric holograms helped me fully understand and accept these concepts. I could mentally reach into each wave and watch it unfold into physical reality. Time had no meaning anymore. Each moment in my life past, present and future was accessible whenever I was conscious enough to remember to access it. Time did not matter in the way I thought it did.
I continued to think of meaningful events throughout my life, even the mundane along with imagined fairy tales I desired. I experienced them all through the virtual simulation that flowed from my mind. These weren’t the type of holographic experience I imaged or saw in sci-fi tv shows and movies. The fractal waves of energy form that contained the experiences floated around me in 3-dimensional space all at once. I could move the focus of my consciousness to any moment in my life and become fully immersed in the 1st or 3rd person. It was my choice. I could experience one or all simultaneously while maintaining each experience individually. They danced in front of me, miniaturized and unfolding into vast simulations that flowed from the holes in my head, like the swirls of fabric caught in an underwater current.
The alien woman seemed pleased with my creative thoughts and allowed me to continue for a while. She kept her needled fingers embedded in my skull throughout my entire mental dance. “Are you ready for your next lesson?” She gently lifted her hand away my skull, pulled her fingers out of my skull, and helped me back on my feet. “You also create fear, but love is always the way.” She walked me to a floating black rectangular door. It existed in space as a portal into another dimension. There were no walls or hinges holding this door and there was nothing behind it. It was just an opening to another dimension floating in the space in front of me. I looked in but it was too dark for me to see inside. She guided me through it. “Here is where you will face fear.” With some hesitance, I stepped through the door. The room was completely black and silent. I couldn’t even hear my own footsteps. I could see the light coming from the dome through the edge of the doorway dim quickly and walked further away from it. I couldn’t understand how big this room was. To me, it was the size of the universe, and that scared me. I was alone, but I knew the woman stood near the opening even though I could no longer see her.
I walked further in to the depths of the darkness until I couldn’t see my hands anymore. The silence in the infinite room was unnerving to me. I began to feel uneasy and my mind began inventing the worst possibilities of what I would find here. I felt the fear of the unknown darkness begin to overtake me. I wanted to scream or run back to the door, but I was already frozen with fear. I was lost in the darkness and was too afraid to breath. As the fear drowned gripped my soul, I looked over in horror as a giant silhouetted figure violently approached me. I was close to hysteria when I saw demon covered in black flame making its way towards me. It raised both its arms and motioned them toward me. I heard the crackling of the flame before I felt the burn of black fire that spewed forth from its hands. I fell back and landed on the ground with a thump as the flame engulfed me. I tried to protect my face as an unrelenting stream of evil poured onto me. I struggle to shake off the fire but only managed to quiver in fear as I slowly accepted my fate. I stopped moving and looked at the demon.
I gave in and was suddenly at peace with myself. I entered a state of pure bliss. I closed my eyes and heard the woman’s voice in my mind. “You create reality. You also create fear, but there is nothing to fear. There is only love.” The fear dissipated along with the flames as I realized what her words were telling me. I felt loved. When I began to think clearly, I had the sudden realization that I was in an absurd situation. I was led into infinite darkness by a strange alien woman to face my fears. I was no longer paralyzed by my own creation. I began an uncontrollable fit of laughter that originated from the love of the absurd situation. I felt whole. I felt powerful.
As I laughed, I looked up at the giant demon. It tilted its head in an endearing way that reminded me of how a puppy looks at you when you’re trying to talk to it. The demon looked back at me with its beady glowing eyes. It put its arms down, opened its mouth and joined in hearty laughter. The demon ceased to be scary, or a demon at all. It looked kind and less scary than when we had first met. I created my fear and reacted to it.
The truth was simple. There is only love and this demon was the manifestation of my lack of love.
We sat there, looking at each other and rolling in laughter. The demon stood up and I followed. It looked at my lovingly, reached out with its mind and said, “Now you know.” It smiled and walked away, fading into the darkness. I realized the demon was me and I was the demon. I was the fear I manifested. Fear guided my entire existence and filled my world with darkness and demons. The infinite room the alien woman guided me into was a physical analogy to how I lived my life. I had fallen into victimization and my world took on the role of the aggressor. It was time to change my way of seeing myself and thus the world of experience around me. This demon showed me how we can turn fear into love and become aware that our world reflects our thoughts and intent. How we see ourselves is how we see our world and WE are the creator; victim and hero.
I stood in the darkness reflecting on my lessons when the room suddenly disappeared. I was engulfed in a beam of light that lifted me off the ground and teleported me to another scene. I opened my eyes and looked at my feet. I was standing on old wooden planks. I gazed at my surroundings and quickly realized I was standing on the deck of a 16th century Spanish Galleon. The masts were down, allowing me a clear view of the sun and sky. The scene was painterly. The water was a deep blue and the sky was a hazy yellow. This was cartoonish in nature but was 3-dimensional in nature. I looked up at the sun. It wasn’t bright enough to blind me and looked like a drawn circle in the sky.
“What do you want to know?” asked a deep male voice that boomed into my mind. I immediately recognized is as the voice of the man who sat behind me in the smaller vehicle earlier. Although he hadn’t spoken or even looked at me during our ride, hearing him in my mind gave me a full knowing of who he was. I also knew him, and he had something to teach me as well. He didn’t appear to me, I believe just projected his voice into my mind because I felt more comfortable being physically around the tall alien woman. “What do you want to see?”
I don’t know why I demanded, “show me the serpents,” but it was the first thought I said in my mind. “Very well,” the man replied. “Look up at the sun again.” I looked at the cut-out circle in the sky, but it was replaced by two snakes that formed a yin-yang. The snake forming the left side of the sun was an aqua blue color with a beautiful pattern of scales ranging from yellow to green. The snake forming the other half was an red-orange color, with a dark, wine-colored scale pattern. They slithered and rotated around each other in a counter clockwise motion. They danced for a few seconds and then poured their bodies out of the sun and into the ocean.
The giant serpents swam from the edge of the sun towards my ship, each of them forming the seas. The ocean was blue and red, with the serpents’ heads leading the charge. I watched them in awe as they zoomed past my ship. I ran to the port and then starboard side to get a closer look at them. They were as big as the horizon on each side, getting larger and engulfing the seas as they swam further away from me. The man spoke to me again. “Did you receive what you sought?”
I looked up at the sky directly above me. “No, I didn’t really get any knowledge from this as I did from the other experiences.” I was disappointed. I asked to see the serpents and they came. There was no meaning, not even today for why I asked or received that experience. I was perplexed and couldn’t find any more words to sum up my frustration, but I didn’t need to. The man caught my thoughts with his mind and understood my emotional state fully. “We will give you what you need when you need it, not sooner. You were not ready for the serpents you asked for, therefore you can not find meaning in their presence. You have no context, and THIS is the lesson. You have and will ask for knowledge, but we can not help you understand what you are not yet ready to ask for.” I fully understood what he meant by this. Waves of emotion hit me that helped me grasp the concepts that would shake my core belief system for years to come.
Everything went blank and I awoke the next morning with full memory of what had happened. I was invigorated. I had new life within me, but I began to struggle with what was real or not. This didn’t feel like a dream. It was a midnight adventure in the stars with two tall gray aliens that taught me about the true nature of reality, fear and love and it sounds insane. How could any of that be real? I felt for scars, holes or scabs on the top of my head. There was nothing, no blood and no pain. I wrote down and went over this experience for many years, but it wasn’t until recently that I started reading about UFOs, alien abductions and extra-terrestrial visitations. For the first time in almost a decade, I found literature that described the same beings, settings, saucers, conversations and interactions.
I experienced my interactions with a myriad of strange looking beings throughout my life as intense spiritual and multi-dimensional experiences. It would have never occurred to me up until the moment when I started reading books on UFOs, that my experiences were alien abductions. Were aliens abducting me in my sleep, sweeping me off to a space ship in the sky and teaching the truth about the nature of the universe? Why was it happening to me and why on a regular basis? What did God have to do with it? Why wasn’t I freaking out? Why did it feel “right” to me?
I’ve learned many concepts and continue to learn from these beings, to this day and beyond. In the end, love is all there is. At least that’s what they tell me.
This concludes Episode 4 of the Sky is Crawling see, titled: “Let’s Break Open that Head of Yours”
I’m your host Jaime and I thank you for listening. If you’ve enjoyed this episode of The Sky is Crawling, please visit theskyiscrawling.com to subscribe and share. I’d love to hear your feedback and if you have any questions, I’ll do my best to answer them in following episodes.